Me, in this moment, and my issues with (creative) commitment

This is the first post of a Blogging U challenge–specifically Blogging 101. I’ll admit, I’ve joined this challenge at least four times and never posted once in accordance to it… I think it was the anxiety that was stalling me… or laziness… or both. But I think it was the fear of failing, setting high expectations for myself and not wanting to fall back on those. But as I’ve grown over the years, I’ve learned to push myself to see what I am capable of. I’ve challenged myself before to new adventures, and have come out on top. Especially now, after finishing college and finding a job. With the confidence from these events, I think I’ve finally found the courage and drive to blog. I will take it as a slow and steady process, but hope to learn so much more about myself through it all.

Why am I blogging personally, rather than just writing–aka ranting–in my private journal? There’s some things I’d like to prove about myself:

  • I am creative.
  • I can construct a beautiful sentence.
  • I can set and achieve a goal.

I’m so glad to be done with my college education, not only because I feel stronger and smarter, but because I finally have the time to pursue my interests. I think through all this time milling over what topics to write on my blog, I think I primarily want to focus on my exploration into creative outlets and document the amazing experiences in my life. I am fortunate enough to give myself free time to explore interests and have fun. I know how hard others work–my parents especially–where they don’t have the time to indulge in things like concerts and sporting events and creativity. But I cannot let this subtle guilt prevent me from exploring things I truly desire to learn. I’ve created some categories for this blog–Music, Fashion, Sophie’s Life, Career, Lifestyle & Culture, Travel–as a framework. But these might change or stick around. These are the things I would like to write about, but maybe my blog will evolve as I continue to write.

One thing I have learned so far from the little writing that I have done is that I do overcomplicate the pre-writing process. I’ve learned that about myself, that I stress out about actually doing the writing, but when I sit down to write, everything just free flows. I’m sitting here at my desk, with a nice cup of tea, a beanie, and my cozy plush robe, and the words are just flying from my fingers. I am not thinking of 100 million things at once, just typing the words that are coming out. This is so different than just sitting on my phone scrolling through article after article. This feels like I am accomplishing something. This feels like it is just for me, not for anyone else. (This post in particular at least.) Which is so weird! I had always dreamt that the blog I would develop would be audience-facing, but I think just sticking to a personal journey will be just the outlet I need.

As I said before, I will be using this blog to document my journey into creative outlets. Here’s some things I’d like to explore in the coming year(s):

  • Creative writing, story telling, poetry. (I’ll also be doing this month’s Writing 101 challenge!)
  • Sewing and fashion design. Fashion is a huge passion of mine and I’d like to document my successes and failures. I’d love to begin making clothes for myself, starting simple, and then creating something truly unique. I’d also like to prepare myself (way ahead of time) to learn how to make clothes for my future kids! (Give me at least 7 years for those to come around)
  • Music recommendations and creation of mixes. I love love love music. I find myself listening to something new often, sharing my favorites and all the news related to my favorites. I’d love to create really unique mixes to share with friends and loved ones.
  • I’ve always loved graphic design, and any time where I may not be writing, I’d love to share visual inspiration and creations on this blog! Canva is a good starting point! (I created the banner for this post with it.)
  • I picked up hoop dance over a year ago. I think it’s about time I pick that up again.

As you can see, there’s a lot of creativity for me on the horizon! I am so excited! And of course, I’ll just be writing normal posts about my life–travel, random thoughts, responses to current events, etc. I’m not quite sure why I keep repeating myself, but this is just a let-it-all-out post. I am so excited for this journey, filled with interest and challenges. It also helps that WordPress’ writing mode is so clean and easy to use on a Mac! Pretty things make me happy. :) I hope to find some sort of balance in this blog–serious and silliness. I am a Libra, and won’t let you forget it!

Hopefully that gives us all a little glimpse into what I’m looking to pursue. Let’s check in next year during NaBloPoMo (November is National Blog Posting Month!).

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